My daughter L wanted me to leave her hair out, so I did, giving her a very cute Afro puff hairstyle which she loved. When I picked her up from school the first thing she asked was if I could change her hair. She said that the kids made fun of it, and one group of little shits had the audacity to come to her at recess and ask her “what’s wrong with her hair”. Before my anger had a chance to fully flair off, her 7 year old sister turns to her and said, “don’t listen to them, you look great.”
We live in rural Canada, so I get it to some degree. There is such a general ignorance and disrespect towards anything that isn’t white, because that’s all most of these kids know. That’s why, until things start to change, we have to remind our little ones there is nothing “wrong” with them. If someone has a problem with her hair, that’s their problem, it’s nothing to do with her.
She still wanted me to change her hair, which made me feel like these kids were winning, but I wanted her to feel comfortable so I did.
The next day she came home very excited and happy because the teacher spent the day talking about kindness. She was also called to the office to have a discussion with the principal about what happened. It seems my instagram post, where I spoke about the incident, had got the right kind of attention, and it gave me great comfort that the school was so committed to getting things to change.
Today, she went to school with her full Afro blazing. I asked her if she was sure, especially after what had happened previously, and she said she has decided not to care what others might think. I thought to myself, easier said than done, but I am head over heels proud of her for taking this stance!
So parents, continue to build that self confidence in your little ones. Don’t give up or give in; they are going to need that armor that only self love and self esteem can build.
Lots of Love. Anya
Check out my line of kids t-shirts reminding them to Love Their Hair!